The Weight Of The World

The weight of the world,

Can drag you down,

Just so fast,

With no sound.

The constant struggle,

Of right and wrong,

It’s not easy to see,

Where you belong.

I hope you know,

How loved you are,

A magician in sight,

You will go far.

Help us all,

Now to see,

Just who you are,

Who you might be.

 

S. K. Young

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Let You Go

Just when I think I’ve had enough,
You show up, shoulders brush.
No words exchange, only vacant stares,
Stale eyes, though you seem to care.
I walk away, vivid image,
You chase behind, there’s no limit.
Selfless actions, you call to me,
One day, maybe, then I’ll see.
For now, the book, so it closes,
Squeezing hands, touching noses.
Tear drops dry, in the land of Oz,
Bitter tongues, no better laws.
My feelings, I hide, to keep you sane.

You show weakness, I’m glad I came.
Push and pull, a fragile heart,
Puts you and I right back to the start.

 

S. K. Young

On The Shelf

I let you go,

but I know,

that won’t do any good.

You still lurk in the shadows,

of where we once stood.

I just think,

I need a drink,

but I’ve made a choice to stay sober.

The way you talk so silently,

tells me it’s over.

You walk,

I talk,

It’s not fun and games.

As my thoughts fill the pages,

I know it sounds insane.

Nothing for me to do,

it’s all up to you.

Yet somehow I can’t help myself.

I still wonder if you care,

remembering it’s my heart on the shelf.

 

S. K. Young

Take Me There

Take me to the 1950s and buy me a burger and a shake.
We’ll talk about the future,
And how much you mean to me.
Dancing the night away,
There’s nothing more I want than this.
You tell me, “You’re the one that I want”,
I say, “Well then you better shape up.”
Let’s travel across the seas,
Polaroids and tapes,
That’s all we’ll ever need besides each other.
You’ll say, “we’re going steady”,
I’ll chime in with, “I think I’m ready.”
We laugh and we love,
We learn and we live.
I think it’s strange how you admire me,
Without you, what would my life be?
Spinning me so that sundress flies,
I broke away, but never said goodbye.
And now you sit, in that old wood chair by the sea,
And reminisce the memories of you and me.

S. K. Young

Danger’s Always There

Danger calls from outside your door,

A whisper in the night,

Chills down your spine,

You call her, face a mess,

She said, “it’s not right, how about another time?”

Drip, drip, drip,

The rain creates a rhythm,

Beating down hard on the window sill.

Wishing a shooting star would light up the sky,

But you know it never will.

Danger looks around, lurking all night,

A silent sound, a penny drops,

Heads or tails is just a game we play,

Spitting out truth or dares until the rain stops.

Faded eyes,

Jaded lies,

a never ending cycle.

 

S. K. Young

 

Finding You

Soooo… it’s been awhile since I’ve talked about adoption but I’m at the age where I’m hopeful in finding birth mother. It hasn’t been easy with the thought that maybe she doesn’t want to meet me but I know in my heart that is not true at all.

When I was born, she left me a stuffed bunny and a card to my parents that says: “Hope my little treasure will always give you both happiness and laughter. Sarah will always remain a part of me. I love her lots and lots”.

If it just so happens that we never end up meeting, that’s ok. It wasn’t meant to be. And that’s why the poem below is for her – for the women who chose to give me a healthy, happy life. The best gift I’ve ever recieved is from someone I’ve never met.

FINDING YOU

Searching, reaching,

I’ll never give up,

For this thing I once knew,

For this thing called love.

You gave me life,

I gave you passion,

You will replay the memories,

In an orderly fashion.

It must be hard,

For you I know,

Just give it time,

And you’ll see us both grow.

I want you to know,

How happy I am,

If it wasn’t for you,

I would not be able to stand.

The thought of distance,

Kills me too,

But that doesn’t mean,

I’ll ever forget you.

You are my safe,

You are the light,

You gave me strength,

To see everything will be alright.

And with that said,

I hope we meet,

So that you can see,

Everything I’ve grown to be.

 

I love you.

S. K. Young

 

 

On The Off Chance

On the off chance you’re listening,

There’s a few things you should know,

I admire the things you’ve done for me,

For those things have helped me grow.

 

On the off chance you’re on your way,

There’s a space made up just for you,

Fluffed pillows and your favorite soup,

Won’t you promise you’ll stay an hour or two?

 

On the off chance you stopped for gas,

There’s a time for you to think of what we could be.

A girl in a sundress, a boy in a beanie,

Just a wave along the shore, a never-ending sea.

 

On the off chance you turned around,

There’s a lonely girl just miles away,

With a heart full of love, eyes filled with fear,

Cold soup, a pillow and a place for you to stay.

 

On the off chance I’m over you,

There’s something you should know,

The tears were not worth the time you gave me,

I’ll never forget what we had, but it’s time to let you go.

 

S. K. Young

Medicine

I told myself I would stop.

Stop loving you the way I shouldn’t.

But it’s too late, the door has closed,

The cold air came and numbed my toes.

A vicious circle as the call it,

No reasons why.

I reach for you while fighting the urge,

As one I wish we were able to merge.

You’re my medicine,

my safe from every battle.

Saving me from the disparity,

helping to see what’s right there infront of me.

 

S. K. Young

Hello

Another day passes by,

Snow falling out the window.

A loss of happiness, another hour,

Makes you not want to try.

Learn to be confident in the way of the world,

Or it will just drag you down.

A hug,

a slam of a door,

a sigh,

another silent sound.

Hello is all we know.

Darling,

it’s time to let me go.

 

S. K. Young

 

 

Chocolate Is Another Word For Her

Chocolate is just a friend you say,

It isn’t something you crave to touch,

it isn’t something you want everyday.

Brushing it off, it’s all I can do,

You drop everything in time when chocolate comes around.

I can’t help but think it’s destroying you.

Maybe just a taste, you said couldn’t hurt,

like a thousand knives within my soul,

heart crushed down, soft like dirt.

Chocolate is pretty, chocolate is smooth,

something we both know I’m not,

but really,

it’s only you that’s going to lose.

 

Xx Sarah

Just

Connected as one, finally together,
A love lost, a love won, but not even a love at all,
We fall and break, we push and pull.

Just a feeling that will never leave my bones.
I don’t even know why, is this even love?
And everytime I look at you, it’s in sephia tones.

Reasons are unknown for this everlasting lust,
It’s in the way you look at me,
It’s in the way you trust.

Just a feeling is all we say,
A twist in turn, a twist in fate,
Allow flying colours come out to play.

Though we may live our seperate lives,
It’s never too late to give it a chance,
It’s never too late to try.

So with this poem I wrote for you,
I just hope you remember me,
And I just hope I’ll remember you too.

 

Xx Sarah

Falling With Nowhere To Go

Falling with nowhere to go,

The ground never seemed so far,

Don’t let this down, don’t let this crumble,

Hearts racing faster than a race car.

Hands within reach,

Face slowly burning up,

Glances makes us wonder,

Darling, will this ever be enough?

Gentle whispers and vacant sounds,

Heart pounds, pounds, pounds,

it’s hard to focus on what’s real,

Mixed signals have never been so loud.

Friends as they call it,

Quotations or not,

Define us from now til death,

Lust is contagious, a silly thing we’ve caught.

Leave now or forever more,

A feeling I never thought would come around,

Caring for you has brought faith,

Oh darling, just let us have a taste.

That last goodbye was hard enough,

A laugh, a glance, a hug was all,

Darling, our lips did not touch,

It was you, it was me, it was us who made me fall.

Xx Sarah

Poem: Settle The Score

This idea came to me recently when having a conversation about life with someone I barely know. Enjoy.

 

It’s a never ending battle,

one we’ll never win,

the storm seems everlasting,

when did it even begin?

 

It’s never enough for you,

your tiny little hands,

the weight of the world is too heavy,

for you to even stand.

 

It’s life in a bottle,

the sand in your toes,

the rain that falls,

and the snow that blows.

 

It’s a mysterious puzzle,

this thing that we call life,

we all learn to defend,

through all the pain and strife.

 

It’s a never ending battle,

one we’ll never win,

the storm seems everlasting,

when did it even begin?

 

Thanks for reading.

Xx Sarah

Poem: Legends

A brisk walker,

eyes so cold,

it’s like you don’t see me here,

that’s what I’ve been told.

Unattractive,

yet so darling,

It’s all about balance,

That’s why the birds sing.

So mysterious,

My heart yearns to know you,

She stands in the way,

but you know you want to.

I’ll never push,

it’s not in my nature,

my steps take me away,

and you walk to her.

Keeping your distance,

I want you to know,

a friend I’ll be,

a friend to tell you so.

You battle enough,

and defeat the bad,

oh for the future,

always cherish the moments we have.

 

Xx Sarah

One Lovely Blog Award

lovely-blog

It’s been a very humbling couple of weeks. I’ve been nominated for the One Lovely Blog Award by thehopefulwayfarer! I’d like to give a huge thanks out to her for keeping me in mind. Her blog is truthful and inspiring and I highly recommend you check out what she’s been writing about.

Here are the rules for this award:

1. You must thank the person who nominated you and include a link to their blog.

2. You must list the rules and display the award.

3. You must add 7 facts about yourself.

4. You must nominate 15 other bloggers and comment on one of their posts to let them know they have been nominated.

5. You must display the award logo and follow the blogger who nominated you.

 

And now for the 7 facts about me…

1. Bookstores are my kryptonite. I could spend forever in one unless someone dragged me out. They will be the reason of my debt sooner or later.

2. I hate wearing clothing that exposes my legs. For example, shorts, skirts, dresses. If it’s too hot to wear tights – I wear jeans. I don’t really know why either.. I just think it looks weird on me I guess.

3. I’m obsessed with white apparently… Recently painted my room white (which before was dark chocolate brown), I love to paint my nails white, white shoes, white socks, white shirts… you get the idea.

4. I really, really don’t like peanut butter. Or peanuts in general. So yes – I don’t like Reeses chocolate. At all. (I’m an almond butter person.)

5. Until this year, I hated my hair color. Always wished it was lighter. Now, I love it and wouldn’t even think of changing it.

6. If I could open up my own store it would consist of a mixture between a book store, a cafe and a music store. Food, books, music – all I need. Oh and it would have a kick-ass patio with lots of room for dancing at night.

7. The fact that we are living organisims on a floating planet in a sea of darkness that could explode at any time, facinates me. Also scares the shit out of me.

 

My Nominees:

Space For Kate

Oldest Daughter & Red Headed Sister

 all-purpose and semi-sweet

zipsrid

itsmayurremember

Wine & Tobacco

New York Insomniac 

Prolific Daydreamer

Quite Simply

Norcal Boss

A Blog To Regret

A blog about lots of stuff

The Ok Life As A Female Adolescent

The Open Window

 

Have a great weekend!

Xx Sarah

 

Poem: Old Faces

Bittersweet smiles and longing eyes

Fill the streets of once upon a time.

Nostalgic voices chitter chatter,

Yet, not even making a sound.

Loving arms welcome a many,

Tired footsteps take us home.

You were there, making an entrance,

the only thing I actually noticed.

Grooving, swinging, to the beat,

It seems we lost sight of what’s to be.

I say hello and long for you,

But it’s too late, you’re a man of wonder.

Memories creep back into my head,

I reason that I should let go.

Cotton candy and popcorn smells,

fill the air as I turn around.

I left you years ago, it must happen again,

So nice to know that your life’s began.

A smile can hide so much more,

when old faces creep at the door.

 

Hope this brings back some nostalgic feelings for you in one way or another. Have a wondeful Sunday!

Xx Sarah

 

 

Understanding Adoption: Part 3

The hardest part about being adopted for me is knowing next to nothing about the life my mother lived. I wonder all the time what her favorite food is or what place she finds peace in when she is stressed. What about her favorite books, movies and places to shop? Every little detail is important to me.

To not understand fully the reasons I couldn’t stay with her is hard as well. I know deep down all the little things she is make up who I am so I’ll always have a part of her with me. It’s funny because most mothers and daughters look similar so I like to look in the mirror and try to picture what she might look like.

I do know that she loved music, poetry and to cook – three things I am very passionate about. Maybe that’s why concerts are my happy place. Maybe how I took piano lessons. That poetry is something I love to read and write. And that cooking is relaxing and has always been a big part of my life.

When I first found out all of these things, it made me smile because I realized my mom now loves to cook – she owned a restaurant and a food shop when I was much younger. My mom loves to read and she plays piano very well.

Considering how it all ties together, it’s clear to see that my birth mother chose my parents because of their interests and warm loving spirit.

Thanks for reading.

Xx Sarah

 

PART 1

https://bloglostandfound.wordpress.com/2014/05/25/understanding-adoption-part-1/

PART 2

https://bloglostandfound.wordpress.com/2014/06/25/understanding-adoption-part-2/

Personal Story

https://bloglostandfound.wordpress.com/2013/08/22/adoption-a-personal-story/

 

The Liebster Award

I woke up this morning to find I was nominated for The Liebster Award. This award generally goes out to smaller, newer blogs.

I started up Lost & Found a year ago and never imagined the joy and support it has brought into my life. My intention was to release unwanted feelings until I realized I had gained somewhat of a following. And this goes out to all my readers: thank you so much for appreciating the words I type. To know that I have inspired even one person means the absolute world to me.

I’d like to give an even bigger thank you to Pieces of Bipolar who was gracious enough to include me on her list of nominees for this award. She has shown me support for awhile now and I am so forever grateful for the kind words she has motivated me with. Please check out her blog and show her some love.

 

The Liebster Award:

1. Thank the person who nominated you.

I expressed my gratitude above but thank you again so much to Pieces of Bipolar for enjoying my words enough to nominate me for such an incredible thing.

2. Add the Liebster Award logo to your blog.

Posted here: Awards

3. Answer 10 questions provided to you from the person who nominated you.

See my answers below this list. I changed one question from the previous post.

4. Provide 10 or ask your nominees to answer the same questions.

For my nominee(s), please answer the same as I have5. Nominate bloggers of your own for the award.

See nominees below the questions I have answered.

 

Questions:

1. If you were stranded on an island and only had three things, what would they be?

Music. Tent. Unlimited food.

2. If you won the lottery, what would you do with the money?

Frist, pay off my parents mortgage, donate to charity, then travel the world and go to as many concerts and music festivals as I can.

3. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I would give myself an extra boost of confidence.

4. If you could try something new today, what would it be?

Parasailing.

5. What is your life mantra?

Any of Paulo Coelho’s quotes would work. The one below sticks out the most:

“Everything tells me that I am about to make a wrong decision, but making mistakes is just a part of life. What does the world want of me? Does it want me to take no risks, to go back to where I came from because I didn’t have the courage to say “yes” to life?” – Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes

6. What is your biggest fear in life?

Not living every day to the fullest.

7. If you could have dinner with one person alive or dead, who would it be and why?

My birth mother. I want to know what could’ve been and I want to know her story better and understand everything she has been through.

8. What is one thing you’re proud of?

My ablility to keep going when people doubt what I’m capable of.

9. What is the most beautiful place you’ve seen?

So many places. As of right now, the country side and mountains of Ireland.

10. Name a song that describes your life in a nutshell.

As some of you know, I’m a music junkie. I like everything. Anything. So therefore, there are probably hundreds of songs that would be suitable for this. Each song has something different to offer for each aspect of my life. With that said, I’ll share with you a song that never fails to make me feel better and is definitely in my top 5:

Sanctuary – Paradise Fears

 

Nominess:

**Each of the blogs below have either inspired, motivated or opened my eyes and mind to another side of life. I hope they accept this award as a thank you from me for putting their writing and thoughts on the web.**

1.  Faqeeha Aleem

2. New York Insomniac

3. The Reckless Romantic

 

 

 

 

 

Poem: As I Sit Here

As I sit here, I think to myself,

Wondering if there’s a way for me to help.

You walk away, sadden and all,

Stopping in your tracks, you begin to fall.

My hand it holds the back of your head,

guiding you to and away from dread.

With every heartbeat there’s whispers and stares,

In all honestly, who the hell really cares.

Flowers and wine, a cold winter’s night,

Are all the things, you told me to fight.

From smiles and laughter, and wooden tables,

Our time together was nothing but fables.

As I sit here, I come out of this dream,

You’re walking towards me, could this be a dream?

 

Thanks for reading. Happy Friday!

Xx Sarah

I Am Only Me

You like to talk about yourself,

never asking how I am

or what I’m feeling.

I’ll always be waiting for you

to come around,

when I know that’s impossible.

For you took the key to me

and threw it over the edge

of the deepest falls in your soul.

Making my decisions around plans

to shut others out

when they only want in.

I am left here alone

never knowing what else could be.

Thanks to you, I sit and poder

of how I can get you to want me

like you did before.

But it’s no use

because you are a king

and I am only me.

 

Thanks for reading.

Xx Sarah