xander

coast living came easy.

the far side,

it’s a far cry.

wishing and waiting for her,

the one with someone else

the one who holds your finger.

i resolve to find another,

whatever happens, it’s a-okay.

but it’s not, i’ll just forget it.

brown eyes hold the past,

new lies tell me it’s not worth my time,

burning, searching, always gonna be here.

back n forth mind games push me,

point of crying has never left.

my darling,

the worst has come.

you resolved to find another,

and i’m left here wishing,

wishing you’d see me.

but most of all,

everything i’ve grown to be.

 

  • sar

 

 

 

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just a word

from the lines

i read between the head and heart

of the being inside your soul.

human nature connects us,

humility is a strong suit,

show me your other side.

the idea of you is far from me,

inside my chest, my heart it beats.

but it’s just a word to engage in us,

locked key holes hold tight,

pushing breathing in a different light.

come all, come one,

i call your name.

come on,

into my light.

 

  • sar

to not love u

to not love u

and scream it through the trees,

vanilla sunbeam.

to not love u

and cross an ocean,

let me dive in.

to not love u

would be the next sin,

show me that i can.

to not love u

out loud hurts,

the shadows, it lurks.

to not love u,

to not hold u,

to not be there.

to be too close yet so far,

despair, heartache.

to not love u

might be a crime.

  • sar

 

 

i fell

being honest was never easy –

i didn’t know how to until you

came around showing me how wonderful life could be

if i let my fear escape my mind,

to pay attention to the matter.

chasing ghosts, i knew i loved you,

but that was put to rest when i kept to the right of you.

to not love you out loud is next,

falling comes with consequence but never a plan.

i knew i had to step back when my hands shook,

yearning for something more.

here we are, skin and bone,

i fell,

i fell

with the leaves.

ever changing colours, changing me.

just let me be close,

my head rests on your shoulder,

one.. more.. time.

i got up with bleeding knees,

shivering soul,

running off into the night.

  • sar

 

june daze

From bar bathroom exits this grew into something more than we ever had hoped.

Stuck in my place,

I struggled to say hello.

A bad first impression, laughing ever so slightly,

Your presence came to my rescue like the words I love to read.

Up, up, up.

We gathered to the common grounds of where we would find a new kind of bond.

Passion or not at all, coming around, set in our place.

Blood on our hands, cooling down, life is too short to worry.

Friendly faces from a new land whispered to me in expression about where you came from

and what you planned to leave behind in this world.

 

  • sar

 

No No No

Taking me hard by everything I’ve ever known,

and was told wouldn’t ever happen,

I was pushed to the dirt by the blood on your hands.

You smiled while I was vulnerable, the worst crime.

Smoke filled the air, your scent filled the space for a moment in time.

No no no.

Stripped of my rights, you told me I would never amount to anything after this,

I’d never find one to care for me in my darkest moments.

For no one wants to befriend a girl who didn’t get to choose her fate.

I believed every word and put truth behind you.

I pretended to worship you after struggling was getting me nowhere.

No no no.

Screams came out silent and tears rolled dry down my face.

A little harder, a little louder I tried to take flight and finish the fight,

To regain strength and put the thoughts to rest that told me I’m not worth anything.

No no no.

For your hands that took away my innocence

and courage dug right between the lines of everything I was ever told.

But no no no,

It’s been 6 years and you still hold my confidence, my will to speak out.

 

Xx Sarah

 

 

Fill His Shoes

You filled his shoes the minute you walked in,

I looked at you with a storm in my eyes, a creepy sort of happy grin.

Why are you so loud? I can’t hear the thoughts in my mind.

I was never into ideas like you until you came around, eyes so kind.

Whispers and small talk for a few seconds quickly disappeared to nothing.

Back in forth in my mind, the images were there, you had me buzzing.

Why are we so accustomed to beings we can’t obtain? It’s absurd.

I walked the line, you by my side, flashing lights in time were blurred.

You’d smell like cold air and smoke when taking off your black coat.

Lips pressed up to keep mine warm, knowing these would be the next words I wrote.

 

 

 

 

Between Friends

Darling it’s been quite some time, would you tell me how you are?

My mind has been racing and I’ve been erasing everything you’ve said to me.

Eyes glow and lips know just how much silence can fill this room.

Feelings within me have carved art in these walls,

But that’s all history now, it’s just history now.

Like a museum, these fixtures will remain engraved in my bones for all to see.

On a pedestal, middle ground, nothing has never been this simple.

You entered, you left, you came and now you’re gone.

It’s so real, it’s tragic, the consequences and

Wondering what we could’ve been, it’s so sad.

Stains on cigarettes tell me you’ve moved on,

so I want to be your lighter, let me be your lighter.

Something has gotten into me and now I know,

I might never love again, for I’d drown in you.

People move on and people find new people.

But between friends it shouldn’t matter at all.

 

Xx Sarah

 

 

Mystically

Phantoms of past show me the way,

To which my heart desires to go.

Pathways align beneath my feet,

In hopes I’ll see the light ahead.

Meeting new people can bring passion,

It’s those who bury my dreams I rid.

Sometimes I sit alone in silence,

And wonder why it’s so violent.

The emptiness creates a void,

But none of these feelings I avoid,

For without the hardships,

These words would never come from my lips.

Your ears are precious matters,

And my thoughts infinitely scatter,

Through and through the tides.

 

Xx Sarah

 

Phases

I bet you didn’t expect things would turn out this way.

We took the jump, hand in hand, and never looked back.

It’s been a year and a bit, though we never expected to collide like this.

A hug is all it takes to ignite me back into your bones.

 

We are as friendly as two flies, yet loving as two birds.

You’re my everything and I wouldn’t trade you for anything.

Losing ourselves through intoxicated phrases, ice cold tongues.

What we had can never be fixed so maybe this is some kind of broken.

 

It’s weighing us down to the south of where you lie,

Cheering and ending the year with loved ones.

It’s taking a toll on my well being while I’m stuck,

Stuck in the crease of our homeland.

 

From finger snaps away, you came rolling in like a barrel,

Going fast, straight back into my heart space.

Though it is limited, few can reserve such space,

There will always be a nook for you.

 

 

 

No Room For Fun

That night, I still remember how the lights went down,

And we said we’d never make this complicated.

We decided to throw the paper plane and dive right in.

Stopped suddenly as if we hit a brick wall.

 

Hands intertwined as you helped me up from demons.

Saving my breath for the times I need it most,

But that was the one thing you had to steal from me.

You may be a dream but I won’t stick around forever.

 

The floor never looked so good, but it’s too late.

I can’t look past the truth this time, it’s cruel.

What did you think would happen when we lifted the plunge?

Water rushed in and drowned out anything we had left.

 

The veins in my hands are tired from trying to hold on,

To the unknown strings that hold up your heart.

Letting go is what I know best from the ones who think it’s a silly game.

Been hurt enough to know when to give up.

 

Three years and nothings changed, still invisible,

To your ever changing view on what’s right for you.

You know it’s me, you know it’s right there.

The one who took you in when no one else cared.

 

Even looking past the mishaps, it’s no use.

We bend and we broke into something wise.

And now I know what it feels like when you say,

There’s no room for fun.

 

Xx Sarah

 

 

 

I’ll Show You

You were a random chance, a hopeful attempt.

Blended in the shaddows with a flick of a finger.

The faded lies and clear minds still wander.

The hold on my heart will forever linger.

A bird’s eye view, it can be scary.

The truth is so much more than a trivial thing.

Without the trust, we would never aspire to be.

To my sub-concious, your words they cling.

Speculate and demonstrate just what we need.

Feeling okay is more than a physical matter.

I’ll show you just how much the authority has control,

I’ll show you that in order to grow, we must climb the ladder.

Rear view mirrors reveal the unknown.

Denial after denial, barriers left and right,

It’s a game of precision, a strategic puzzle.

We shall not speak of the name, we shall only put up a fight.

The brewing pot season has begun.

Darling, you’re the maker, give it a stir.

I’ll show you just how much the authority has control,

I’ll show you that in order to grow, we must climb the ladder.

 

Xx Sarah

Salvation

Rage against life in the simplest of ways.

Enaging integrity and the sun.

A former bond has come and we repent.

With nothing to spare, we didn’t break – we bent.

Tell tales of misery captivate our subconcious mind.

A light, a light, a rejuvenation age of life.

Words flow like paper planes.

Like the blood rushing in our veins.

Sliding by pretending consequences are extinct.

Sounds of our creations overpower the loud call of sorrow.

Be strong and mighty, be anything but counterfeit.

Living with broken wings, it’s not your fault – any of it.

Left, right, left – conditioning never seemed so cruel.

The weapon has less value than any intentions.

Speculate and determine the path in the plot.

Seek ahead, the past came and you fought.

Universe in favour and the stars have aligned.

The dagger of darkness cut deeper than a knife.

Tell tales of misery captivate our subconcious mind.

A light, a light, a rejuvenation age of life.

Xx Sarah

Better

Ruthlessly, that sharp edge cut

So deep within the past century.

It brought me close to the things that make me feel alive,

Opened my soul, allowed me to thrive.

Being fine on your own scares people the most,

Calmer when the tide is on your side.

We walk a straight line,

Honey don’t worry, what’s mine is mine.

 

The only thing left to do is live,

Snake hearts, full eyes, I’ve got nothing left to give.

Sometimes I get scared,

Sometimes I love.

Better things are coming, time to hit the highway,

Better things ahead are calling me, my way.

 

My heart’s on fire, never felt so free,

I’m calling all shots, give me that sword.

It’s a game baby, it’s one player,

Better watch out, beware of danger.

 

The only thing left to do is live,

Snake hearts, full eyes, I’ve got nothing left to give.

Sometimes I get scared,

Sometimes I get love.

Better things are coming, time to hit the highway,

Better things ahead are calling me, my way.

 

Cue the fireworks, I’m on my way,

Broke out of my cocoon, my wings they glow.

The colours so bright, a rainbow’s envy,

This flight is here, something tells me I’m ready.

 

Take me up, take me away,

Like hell I’m gonna stay.

 

The only thing left to do is live,

Snake hearts, full eyes, I’ve got nothing left to give.

Sometimes I get scared,

Sometimes I get love.

Better things are coming, time to hit the highway,

Better things ahead are calling me, my way.

 

Xx Sarah

 

 

Stay The Same

Coming up on the other side,

I saw your fears and showed you mine.

We ran forever to infinity,

And for once, you were my family.

Jaded eyes never shut,

A close encounter, just our luck.

I promise you I’ll never leave,

It’s not you, it’s not naive.

Cotton candy skies will make you wonder,

Why it gets dark and has to thunder.

Though without a storm, we would not grow,

We would not go, we would not know.

We never made a pact so strong,

Without one of us being strung along,

I need your wisdom like you need mine,

Like we promised for the billionth time.

From earth to space, it’s just a game,

Running down fields, glad they came.

Afterall, seasons change,

But you and I will stay the same.

Xx Sarah

A Place To Call Home

Lost and found

is where my mind goes

when you tell me one,

one too many lies.

Tick tock, a secondhand nature

breaks us down

in orderly fashion

for the rest to bury us.

Ever changing life

sets us up for heartbreak,

strife, and a place,

a place to call home.

Reliance on others

is not what we do

but in fact what we

feel we need.

Don’t you fall,

a beauty in the night.

We need to be strong,

we need to keep up the fight.

 

Xx Sarah

 

A Broken Bond

How highly I think of you is terrible.

 

Youth slipping away from the fountain,

my finger tips frozen.

Pushed up against the wall, dewey eyes,

I wait for you to come in.

Grass stains on my knees in a patch like pattern,

I pull the roots from under your feet.

You go flying around and around,

Spinning like saturn.

You ignore the signals I send,

Turning back into the storm.

I’m swinging from a tree vine,

Barely hanging on, a hand you should lend.

It could be the silence in your voice,

The way your body moves but,

All I know is how to hold your hand

Like the first time we made the choice.

We fell into the rabbit hole,

and came out two separate lives.

Just one more time to hold your hand,

One more time to touch your soul.

Silver is not turning to gold,

A line in the dark to never be seen,

I want to be someone you miss,

I want to be the one you want to hold.

 

Xx Sarah

 

 

 

Sandstorm

Dear whom it may concern: Thanks for helping me forget the world for a night. It was cool. If only I could see you again. Take care.

 

A lust like ours was rare,

It came so fast and left even quicker.

We held on too tight, let too much out,

And we left faster than ever.

Came on a little too strong,

The stars had never shined so bright,

Together as one,

We danced closely all night.

A sandstorm hit in those few hours,

and built a sand castle where we stood.

It all came crashing down,

You didn’t try to save it but I knew we could.

It’s a cat and mouse game,

A goldfish would never win.

Right there, right here, it was so easy,

But for me, you never let me in.

 

Xx Sarah

 

 

 

 

 

 

Neon Lights

I am a firefly so subtle,

catching drifts from the darkness,

finding my light from within.

You captured me in a jar,

and set me free at the time I needed you most.

You are a puppet master,

tugging, guiding my heart strings.

It’s out of control,

I can’t breath.

Gasping ever so violently

for the words to tell you

how much I hate that I love you.

Skin on skin,

the moonlight shines on my backside,

releasing the beauty that I am unable to see.

Am I free yet?

Your finger tips tracing the things I wish I could change.

You said you loved them

and I was stupid enough to believe you.

I fall down.

Farther

and farther,

into the rabbit hole of your soul.

Something sucks the life out of me

everytime you come around

– yet I keep coming back.

I am blinded by your eyes,

not realizing how much better I deserve.

Farther and father,

I come to a set of lights.

Do I go?

Do I stay?

Then I stopped. Neon and all.

Turned around and decided to change.

A miracle if you will.

Time to stand up for all of us too afraid to do anything.

Under the neon lights I decided you were just a dream

that will fade with the rest of the ones that got away.

 

Xx Sarah