“When she looks in the mirror, we want our daughter to know herself. It’s hard to face the world when you don’t know where your face came from.” – Unknown
Adoption is a wonderful thing this world has to offer but people don’t understand how much emotional impact it can have on another. It can bring one joy, yet pain. Love, yet hate. Take a second to read my thoughts.
If you’ve known me for more than a few years then I assume you would know I was adopted. I have never openly talked about my story with the public before, but I think it’s time now.
First of all, I was adopted right from birth into a family who has shown me love and taught me all the necessities in life – from love to forgiveness to responsibility to independence and more. Second, I was never comfortable talking about being adopted until I was in grade 11 or 12. Before then, I would get emotional and shut down whenever I was asked about it – almost feeling embarrassed and I don’t know why. Now if asked about it, I am more than happy to share my thoughts.
The number one question I’m always asked is: At what age were you told? Honestly, it’s a funny question because I don’t know at what age exactly. I’ve known for as along as I can remember and I thank my parents very much for not hiding it because I’ve heard stories where people don’t find out until they are 40 and it tears the family apart. Also, I’m so used to it by now that sometimes I don’t even remember I am adopted.
When I was younger, around the age 8-11, I used to be almost ashamed to go out in public with my parents because of how different we look. My parents are both pretty white, while I’m a tan color… (See picture below).
I also have a brother (below) who is adopted as well and it’s funny because he and I look like we could be blood related siblings when in fact, we are not.
I used to also get feelings of neglect, shame, sadness and more from wondering why on Earth my mom didn’t want me (this was before I was told why). But then I would feel wanted, joy and happiness because of the wonderful people who took me into their arms and saved me from living a terrible life. If I had not been adopted, who knows what would have happened. It’s a scary reality to think about.
I’m not going to get into the details of why my biological mother put me up for adoption because that’s something I’d like to keep out of this post. Plus, even though I haven’t met her yet, I’d like to respect my birth mom’s privacy for now. I’m planning to share it in the future though. Part of the reason why she gave me up was because of cultural reasons and family issues. But if you know me pretty well and want to know, message me, and I’ll tell you the full story. It is rather interesting… Notice how I only talk about my mom? Yeah. That’s where it get’s interesting.
My parents told me they never met her. They say she was a very private person. I don’t even know her name. But she left me a hand written card with a special message that is very close to my heart. There was also a document explaining her hobbies and interest which happen to be similar to mine. I thought that was pretty cool.
I’m currently in the process of finding her. I would love nothing more in this world than to meet my mom. Meeting her before I’m 30 is something I plan to do and I can’t wait to share it with all of you. I was nervous at first to tell my parents that I really wanted to meet my birth mother because I thought they would feel sad or unappreciated, but that was not the case at all. They assured me this is something they hope I accomplish, and that makes me very happy.
I also plan on adopting children when I’m ready for kids in my life. I am very blessed and would love to make other children feel as loved as I do today. And I hope this post opens your eyes about how it can affect someone.
Thanks. If you’ve read this far, you’re awesome and it means so much to me that you took time out of your day to read this.